Getting into a car accident 2 months before my leave for Focus One procures only one question for myself: "How much do I trust God?"
This is a hard question for me to answer. Do I love Him? With everything in me, yes. Do I trust Him? I mean...sure. Faith is easy when I'm trusting God for gas money or dinner or a home to sleep in on weekend trips, but trusting that God will supply all of my needs (i.e. money to keep me at Focus, and a direction to travel afterward) is a bit of a stretch. The "what-if's" my 'logical' parents drill me with at every decision begin to hunt me down and worry seems to be my watchman.
For almost two years I have prayed that God would lead me into an abandonment from the world and a wholeheartedness to Himself. Little did I know the risk involved.
When I leave for Focus One, life as I know it will end. This revelation has become real to me this week. My life will enter into a new season of change and youthful adventure in less than two months, which both excites my spirit, and terrifies my flesh.
In this time of pre-change preparations, colors are becoming brighter and I feel myself becoming somewhat of a vapor in the world I live in. Everything I touch for the next six weeks is very temporary. Every conversation has an expiration date. Every relationship has a "one last time."
Such responsibility weighs heavy on my heart.
I long to leave Indiana with something to hold onto. I want to make an impact. I want to be missed, not because people miss seeing me around, but because God used me to pour into their lives.
Join me in this adventure. If I have impacted your life in any way, I encourage you to tell me. Write me a letter, an email, or give me a phone call. It would feel wonderful entering this new season with some perspective on the last.
