It all ends...

Getting into a car accident 2 months before my leave for Focus One procures only one question for myself: "How much do I trust God?"

This is a hard question for me to answer. Do I love Him? With everything in me, yes. Do I trust Him? I mean...sure. Faith is easy when I'm trusting God for gas money or dinner or a home to sleep in on weekend trips, but trusting that God will supply all of my needs (i.e. money to keep me at Focus, and a direction to travel afterward) is a bit of a stretch. The "what-if's" my 'logical' parents drill me with at every decision begin to hunt me down and worry seems to be my watchman.

For almost two years I have prayed that God would lead me into an abandonment from the world and a wholeheartedness to Himself. Little did I know the risk involved.

When I leave for Focus One, life as I know it will end. This revelation has become real to me this week. My life will enter into a new season of change and youthful adventure in less than two months, which both excites my spirit, and terrifies my flesh.

In this time of pre-change preparations, colors are becoming brighter and I feel myself becoming somewhat of a vapor in the world I live in. Everything I touch for the next six weeks is very temporary. Every conversation has an expiration date. Every relationship has a "one last time."

Such responsibility weighs heavy on my heart.

I long to leave Indiana with something to hold onto. I want to make an impact. I want to be missed, not because people miss seeing me around, but because God used me to pour into their lives.

Join me in this adventure. If I have impacted your life in any way, I encourage you to tell me. Write me a letter, an email, or give me a phone call. It would feel wonderful entering this new season with some perspective on the last.

Praising God For Our Temptation

At times in my life I find myself in seasons that are especially hard for me to follow Jesus exclusively.

I am in one of those seasons as I write this.

Currently I am between 2 jobs through the week, volunteering on the weekends, managing a social life, and trying to manage a tangible spiritual life. But, this is average for both myself, and the American church today. My issue is this: I work at a grocery store.

Last year I made a commitment to God and myself to remain celibate, meaning, I chose to remain single. This was easy during the winter months, but it has become increasingly hard during the warm seasons, where being a grocery boy becomes an issue.

My job is just south of a college campus and right next to a gym.

I am a 21 year old, hormone raged lover of Jesus, surrounded by beautiful and scantily dressed women. Lust has become a completely new and vicious beast for me to wrestle.

I'm sure you have experienced this kind of war.

We all have our own battle fields.

But there is good news.

Jesus understands.

We serve a God who knows what we struggle against and who knows how hard we fight.

To the church of Pergamum, Jesus writes:

"I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives." (Revelation 2:13 emphasis mine)


Jesus understands our war, and he sees the struggle, and he always is ready to pick us up, dust us off, and put our sword back in our hands. 


But Jesus doesn't stop there. He always goes above and beyond everything we could ever ask or think (Eph 3:20). 


Our God records everything in his Book of Remembrance . 


"And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books." (Revelation 20:12)


Many times when we Christians read this passage, chills go down our spine as we think of everything we do wrong. But we must remember, Christ is our Judge, and he always judges justly, not by our standards, but by his.


And Christ's judgments are never fair.


He always judges in our favor.


So why does this Book bring us comfort during our war against sin?


His Book records the good things we do as well!


Everything, let me say that again, everything is recorded. From that bottle of water given to a homeless man, to the turning of the cheek to our persecutors, to our feeble prayers for the sick or lost, every good deed is recorded.


Jesus remembers, even though we've already forgotten all the good things we've done.

So take heart! Jesus both understands our struggle, knows everything about the situation, sees how hard we fight, and he records every time we remain faithful.


Have you praised God for your temptation today?

Windows And Mirrors

"Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon the people in this land who live with injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthn those who spend their lives establlishing equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion of the riches of this land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen"

I recently attended a traveling art exhibit called Windows and Mirrors, 45 unique 4-foot by 6-foot panels created by artists memorializing Afghan civilian casualties, alongside images about living with war collected from Afghan schoolchildren.

These paintings and murals and children's drawings moved my heart in remorse for the human condition, especially the condition of Jesus' Church, in ways in which I struggle to put into words. We, as a Church, have lost sight of God's heart. While you and I continue our endless, hateful, and pointless debates of the ways of pacifism or the ways of just-war, thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians are being slaughtered and orphaned in the name of freedom, democracy, and the pursuit of happiness. 

You and I have emptied our hearts of compassion and empathy, replacing it with mounds of theology and doctrine and hard feelings and bitter tastes.

We serve a God full of compassion.

Our God is love.

Our God is an all consuming fire.

Our God is jealous.

Our God is mercy.

Our God is hiding his eyes.

"When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood" (Isaiah 1:15). 

“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:16-19 ephasis mine)

It is only by God's jealous mercy that you and I can still stand before Him as children and lovers.

The blood of innocent men stains our hands. It colors our clothes. It hardens our hearts. 

We need not examine the sheer mass of civilian men, women, and children this war has killed to find the crying heart of Jesus, but into the eyes of the broken widow; the tears of orphaned children.

Imagine with me a normal evening with our families. We just ate dinner and are beginning to get ourselves ready for sleep. Mom and Dad are planning their next morning's clothes, preparing their breifcases and purses, while your brother or sister is hogging the sink space brushing their teeth. Everything is normal. This is the atmosphere of a normal night. Nothing is out of the ordinary, when a bright and blinding light pairs with a tremendous deafening blast that shakes you to the ground. Flames engulf the room around you and smoke fills your lungs. You shreek in terror at the sight of your sibling torn to shreds in a pool of blood on the debris covered lenolium. You are able to make it out of the bathroom to find mom and dad in similar states of horror. Terrified, you stumble over stones and debris, out of the house, blood and puke staining your pajamas. You are alone of all your peers and of all your family. 

This is the experience of hundreds of thousands of children throughout the Afghan villages. 

I do not know the cost of war. I have never experienced anything hard in my life. I am fortunate. Everything I need has been handed to me.

But we follow a Savior who commands us to give all of this up for the least of these.

We follow a Healer who calls us to be his hands and feet- hands that heal and feet that deliver hope.

We follow an innocent man who took upon himself the cruel violence of men so that we might share this mercy with the poor and destitue of our communities.

Jesus weeps for those experiencing injustice in Afghanistan, but even more so, He weeps for the heartlessness of those of us who read writtings like this unmoved. Who read numbers like 28, 360 casualties and continue their lives in apathy. 

I do not know the cost of discipleship. I have not sold all of my possessions and given the money to the poor (Matt 19:21). I have never met an orphan or a widow, let alone cared for them (James 1:27). I do not claim perfection, nor do I profess knowledge or wisdom. I can only ask that you join me in an adventure of love. An odyssey to the center of Jesus' heart. 

Take my hand. 

Let us awaken our souls to those around us.

Let us break the starring compitition we have been playing with ourselves and give our lives for the sake of love. 

Let us work towards servanthood.

Let us trade the American dream for the cries of the least of these amoung us.

Let us find our own Afghanistans.

Let us look through the windows of compassion into the eyes of widows and orphans in war torn lands.

Let us look into mirrors and examine our own hearts and lives.

Giving More Than A Nod

I want to ask you a question.

Are you a Christian?

Now, don't get me wrong, I do not want to question your salvation. I want to awaken your soul.

John the baptist is what we would call today, a radical fundamentalist.

The dude's nuts.

Mark 1:4-6 sheds light onto who this man is.

"He was in the wilderness and preached that people should be baptized to show that they had repented of their sins and turned to God... His clothes were woven from coarse camel hair, and he wore a leather belt around his waist. For food he ate locusts and wild honey."

Like I said.

Nuts.

But, as Shane Claiborne once said, the Kingdom of God is preached not by force, but by fascination.

As he preached, crowds would come to him, asking him what it means to be forgiven. And he replied

      " Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don't just say to each other 'we're safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.' That means nothing! God can create children of Abraham from these very stones!" (Luke 3:8)

What does he say to the crowds? Don't just say your a Christian. Live it. Don't think that because you live in America, a country founded on "Christian" ideals, so I'm safe. Don't think "Well, my parents go to church." or "I go to a spirit filled church." "I sit under a great pastor." "My youth pastor challenges me." " I raise my hands during worship." These things are all great, but John's saying here that actions speak louder than this. Our lives away from church are what sing Jesus' songs.

John continues:

     "Every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire." (Luke 3:9)

This intrigues John's followers. Or scares them silly. Pressingly they ask

     "What should we do?" (verse 10)

'Okay John. I want to live this life of repentence. I want to live for your God. How do I do this? I certainly don't want to be thrown in the fire.'

So John explains:

     "If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry." (verse 11)

John, in two sentences - one small verse of the bible - defines Christianity. He says "This is how you do it."

Right there.

Plain

as

day.

So many times in our Christian walks we want to make it all about not doing things. We believe that Christianity is going to church, avoiding the big sins, and voting republican. But John here says its so much more than that. We are defined by what we give.

Jesus defines Christianity in the harshest third-person narrative possible. In Matthew 25 he's chillin with his followers teaching them kingdom principals when he decides to shake things up a bit.

[ Turn to Matthew 25 and read verses 31-46]

That's intense.  Jesus here is saying that if we are not helping others we are not His followers.

I've never heard this preached before.

And that

scares

me.

When did Christianity become unmoving? When did it become about us and what we can get from the Lord? Jesus says it's about taking up our crosses and following Him. Christianity is a hard, hard thing. It's a love the breaks our hearts and keeps us up at night. One that seeks to give of oneself rather than take for oneself. It is open-handed and compassionate. It hurts. Christ made salvation so easy to aquire, but it is a narrow road.

One day I was driving around downtown Indianapolis, just praying for the city, when the Lord told me to the Lawrence area (where calvary temple is). So my head started fabricating all these ideas of what his plan could be. So I decided that the Lord wanted me to donate some plasma to get some money so I could buy breakfast and take it back downtown in the morning. So I went to the plasma care center, pretty stoked about what was happening, only to be told that they were closed.

Bummer.

So I get back in my car, rather flustered, asking God

"Dude

what's

UP."

As I was driving back to the interstate I saw a man holding a sign that read "Hungry, anything helps, God Bless."

"OH!"

So I pull over and offer him a bottle of water. He hobbles over to my car and accepts the water. Literally as he was taking the water from my hands the Lord told me to take him to dinner.

"Lord, I only have like 5 bucks."

"Take him to dinner."

"But God, that's dangerous. I don't know this guy."

"Oh, I forgot."

"Okay okay okay. JEESH!"

So I invite him, and he get in the car.

His name was Danny.

He explains to me that he has a disease that clowds his eye sight and a bad hip which prevents him from work.

He literally couldn't see 2 feet in front of him.

So we go to taco bell and I buy us some food. We sit and he tells me his life.

It sucks.

There comes a pause in the conversation, so I ask

"Has anyone ever told you about Jesus?"

And his eyes weld up and a smile grew on his face.

His personna completley changed.

He grabbed my hand

looked into my eyes and said something I will never forget.

He said

     "You know, there just aren't very many Christians anymore."

Jesus says in Luke 6:46, "Why do you keep calling me 'Lord, Lord!' when you don't do what I say?"

I looked at him, broken hearted, and could only agree with him.

-----

John, in prison, sent two of his disciples to ask Jesus a question. John, facing death, needed to make sure Jesus was who He said He was. Cuz if not

he's in trouble.

So, as John requested, the disciples ask Jesus "Are you the one we are waiting for, or should we expect another?"

And Jesus, throwing the ball back in their court, asks them "You tell me. Do I heal the sick? Do I bring hope to the hopeless? Do I feed the hungry?"

Do we have that kind of integrity, friends?

Are we Christians? Do we give? Do we love? Do we really look like Jesus?

That is my challenge to you, and to myself as well.

Who Is God, Really? (Part 3)

Part 3: You Look Good Naked

David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Most people live with a devastating sense of loneliness. 

There is a desire deep within the human heart to be 

naked

and

unashamed.

This is not something we can repent of. This longing was placed inside of us at the beginning of time.

"Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame." (Genesis 2:25) 

The human heart craves intimacy; therefore, the enemy seeks to exploit this by bringing us 

down many avenues that offer a counterfeit intimacy which in turn brings shame. The irony is that when we accept what the enemy offers, we minimize our chances of experiencing real intimacy, leaving ourselves open to loneliness even when we are surrounded by people, even those who love us. Mother Theresa once said "There is no disease that kills quicker than lonliness."

Moses pointed to the glory of married love when he described how God brought Adam and Eve together to become one flesh.

He emphasized that they were naked and experienced no shame.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

(Genesis 2:24-25)

Years after Moses wrote this, the Apostle Paul gave insight into Moses’ account. Paul knew something about God’s heart that Moses did not. Paul quoted Genesis 2:18 in Ephesians 5:31-32, applying it to the spiritual relationship between Jesus and the Church.

The creation of Adam and Eve to become one flesh is a prophetic picture of the way that Jesus will be joined to His church. Paul referred to this as God’s great mystery. Spiritually speaking, being naked and unashamed means all the secrets of our hearts will be

fully

unveiled.

After Adam and Eve sinned the first time, they recognized their nakedness and first encountered that crippling thing called shame. God then fashioned garments for them as covering (Genesis 3:21).

Six thousand years later, God still offers a covering for our shame, this time through the sacrifice of His Son.

God was and is fully determined to draw near to us in such a way that we would have no shame in our relationships with Him.

Oh! The privalege of being intimate with the living Christ!

Christ can, very tangably, fullfill every longing of our human hearts. The desire to know and be known. The desire to be close.

To be held.

To be fasinated.

To be comfortable.

To be silent.

He can even help us in ourl sexual desires, if we allow him.

                                                                                                                                                                    

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because 

the LORD has anointed Me to preach good

tidings to the poor…to give them beauty for 

ashes… (Isaiah 61:1-3)

Ashes are the by-product and result of burning our passions on wrong things. Some believers’ lives are like ash heaps even after they have known the Lord for many years. Most people don’t realize how much they have lost by making sinful choices. They find themselves midway through life with nothing to show for it, or even worse, having accumulated a mess of wrecked relationships, terrible memories, and addictions. Regardless of how they arrived there, they come to a realization that they’re sitting on an ash heap and they wonder, “What would anyone want with me? What I have done is so…ugly.” Nobody wants our ashes. 

Nobody, that is, except God. And when He takes them, He will trade them for His beauty. 

"I am dark but lovely..." (Song 1:5)

We are darkened by sin, but we are still lovely to him. In romans 8 paul writes:

"There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ..."

God never turns his passion from the ones he loves. Even during sin.

Even while we type in 'hot chicks' into google.

Even while we tell that dirty little secret our friend's trusted us with.

Even while we are living in homosexuality.

Even while we make out 'hot and heavy' during the movie.

Even when our hand goes 'there.'

Even when our eyes stay 'there.'

Wherever our 'there' is, God calls us lovely even when we are going 'there.'

This is why we must quickly repent. 

Because he sees our heart.

Our immediate repentance moves his heart dearly.

We are dark.

But lovely.

God says He will answer our core desire for intimacy now, in this life, as well as for all eternity. Taking the mess we have made of our lives, He will give us the very thing our hearts were meant to possess the beauty of God. When you became a believer, you weren’t merely saved from Hell. You were made to be beautiful and to show forth God’s beauty to the rest of creation forever. This is an intimacy far greater than anything we can hope for in each other. To be naked before the Lord.

Not holding anything back.

It's a relationship.

A divine marriage between divinty and humanity.

It's a Lover who says

"Marry me. What's yours is mine. What's mine is yours. Give me those ashes. I want them. What's yours is mine. Take my garments of light. Take my righteousness. Take the nations. You can even sit with me in heavenly places. What's mine is yours."

Christ's coming to the earth was 

SO MUCH MORE

than saving us from sin. It was also much more than giving us healing or authority, though those things are beautiful. Many of us only know Christ as savior.

Or Healer.

Or Deliverer.

Or Provider.

Or Creator.

But there are only a handful who know him as

Lover.

Many people talk about it, but few understand it. His love is still something on the peripheral.

It is on the side.

It is something that is true, but few really grasp ahold of God's

intimate

deep

personal

whole-hearted

stronger than death

as enduring as the grave

ravished

timeless

bottomless

limitless

boundless

as wide as the east is from the west

LOVE

for us, His bride.

We are Christ's inheritance. We are his ONLY reward for 

putting on skin, walking a blameless life, fasting for 40 days, being strongly tempted by satan himself, enduring pursicution, enduring immaturity, being falsy accused,becoming sin, and dying a cruel, harsh, and bloody death

for us.

"Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession." (Ps 2:8)

"For the LORD's portion is his people, Jacob his allotted inheritance." (Duet 32:9)

We overlook Christ's love so quickly. Think about this:

Jesus is a man. When he put on skin, he kept it on. He is still a man, in skin, in heaven right now before the Father.

Jesus has been praying for us

for 2000 years.

Praying furvently.

"Father, give me the nations! Father! Give me the nations! I desire your people. Oh, that they would be where I am! That they would be as one with me!" (Ps 2:8, John 17:21) 

John 3:16 is a verse we are very familar with. It's even cliche. We often avoid even quoting it at the risk of sounding immature. But the truth of it is so piercing.

"For God so loved the world..."

He SO LOVES humanity. His heart is ravished by us, even in our weakness. Beloved, if God soloves something, it is very very important. We are the only beings in all of creation that God loves. Nothing else possesses his love. We can trust him in our nakedness. He is the only venue in which we can place our attention, affection, and love, and never be taken lightly. 

He longs for us to be naked and unashamed.

You look good naked.